Wednesday, July 6, 2011

big sister lemons

Lemons after she lost a tooth

Three years ago Scottie was quite the busy man spending long long LONG nights at the library studying his brains out trying to endure the awful Junior Core,  Well me and my lonesome self had had enough with being lonely.  If you were to ask any wife of an accounting major in the Junior Core they would agree.  It's pretty grueling.  So in order to cure my loneliness I decided I needed a furry friend of some sort to stay by my side.  Since Scottie hates dogs, take that back, despises them, I knew that was out of the question.  So we opted for a cat.  I know most of you are probably thinking "Really?  A cat?  You couldn't think of something else like... a hamster?"  No friends, I wanted something that would curl up on my lap and cuddle up.   You know, fill the void.   Don't worry I'm not one of those people that has cat posters and cat calendars, cat mouse pads or kitty slippers.  No no I just wanted something lovable to keep me company.  

 So since my parents were our landlords at the time, they agreed we could get an animal under certain circumstances.  It had to be declawed, female, litter box trained, spade, etc.  And so the search began.  KSL was the means by which we came across an animal that met all the requirements and so we looked into it some more.  She looked like a really cute kitty and apparently this cat was very friendly and needed a good home because the owners were never home and felt that she needed more attention.  It was a match made in heaven and did I mention she was FREE?

We later arranged to pick up the cat at around 9:00 at night.  When we arrived we knocked and anxiously awaited to meet our soon to be cat.  The owners opened the door and invited us in.  From what I remember they failed to turn on the light in the entry way and the only light that was on was the kitchen light leaving us standing in the dark.  After the owner shouted to the kids to get the cat, they came running in barely able to hold the thing all the while the cat was meowing all sorts of hysterics.  You could tell it was not happy.  Then the owner said "Oh by the wasy, she does NOT like to be held.  At all.".  Really lady?  I would call that false advertising right about now since you said the cat was very friendly.  From the looks of it I think you are lying to me.  But what was I to do?  After all the cat was free?

When the kids brought the cat closer to me the glare from the kitchen light lit up the cats greasy fur and I was beginning to wonder what on earth we had gotten ourselves into.  Ya this cat was free but obviously not free of disease. I'm sure at that point the owner could tell that I was worried by the frightened look on my face.  That's when she told me that she had tried to clean her up before we came with a cat wipe but it ended up making her fur stick together and appear to look greasy.  Sure lady, keep on telling me what you want but I'm still not sure about this cat.  But honestly what was I suppose to do?  "Sorry lady I just remembered that we never checked with our landlord about making sure we could have pets.  We'll have to get back to ya." 

Before I could decline they had thrown the cat in the cat box handed me her extra cat food and water dish.  I didn't know if I should thank her or not but before long we were in the car headed down the road with this moaning cat in the back of our car.  I thought it was a cat but I couldn't be sure.  After all, was that the reason they didn't turn the light on?  Had they been trying to get rid of this creature but had no takers so they decided that they would deceive us into thinking it was a cat?  For all I knew it could have been the huge rat off The Princess Bride in my back seat.

As we made our journey back home it really hit me that we were now cat owners and I contemplated putting her back on KSL for free.  Maybe even offering a small cash prize for the taking.  Poor thing, I hadn't even been with her for 10 minutes and I was already planning to give her up like a step parent who wanted to ship their new found children off to boarding school.

Finally we arrived at our house, we opened the door and let her out of the box and to our surprise we were quite shocked at what we had just brought home.  This creature was nothing like the animal I saw online.  The animal I saw online was a sweet little kitten about ten years younger but this, this was something else.  It was balding, it tail was chopped off and bent in every which direction you could bend it, it looked as if she had had 10 litters of kittens due to the tremendous furry flab of skin dangling from her belly and when she ran it swung from side to side. Her front paws were all mangled and looked as if someone watched a You Tube video on how to declaw your indoor cat.  Serious?  How am I suppose to love that?   I was concerned.

 Since Scott's family was there for the weekend they began to laugh hysterically and I couldn't help it either.  This wasn't a cat?  It was a poor excuse for a cat.  Next thing I knew we were running around chasing the thing all the while thinking of what to name her.   Obviously you had to give it a name that had something to do with its looks or personality and since this cat was lacking some serious personality we decided to go with looks.  That's when Scottie decided that we should name her Lemon.  You know, like when you purchase a car and it isn't all you hoped for and falls apart the second you drive it off the lot?   Well that's how it came to be.  And Lemons it was.

Later on we came to the conclusion that this poor cat must have been a victim of abuse from previous owners. No wonder she didn't like to be held, or that she would shutter when you brought your hand up to pet her.  She was terrified.  Day by day Lemons slowly started to come around and eventually started to jump on our laps and let us pet her.  She was making leaps and bounds!  

After having Gabby I was worried about all the horror stories I had heard about cats laying on top of babies and suffocating them.  Well, not big sister Lemons.  The first night we brought her home she slept by the bassinet like a watch dog and now that Gabby is getting older she if fascinated with Lemons.  She loves to touch her and Lemons just sits there and takes the brunt of it.

Gabby & Lem Lems

the infamous tail that's about 6 inches too short

lemons and her flabby belly that we love so much 

Though Lemons may not be the most attractive cat you've ever seen, there are a few reason why this cat is a conversation starter.  Maybe it's that fact that whenever a child sees her the first thing they ask is "Is your cat pregnant?"  or maybe it's the fact that she likes to sleep in the dryer if it's open and ends up going for a ride.  Maybe its the fact that when you scratch her lower back she waddles like a turkey.  Or maybe its because when I'm sleeping at night she jumps on the bed and stares me straight in the face and when I open my eyes she decides to sneeze. Maybe it's the fact that she tries to jump on the bed and in mid air finds out that she is getting too old and occasionally flat out misses the bed.  One thing's for sure, we are quite entertained at our hilarious looking cat.   We love our cat.  We have no idea how old Lemons is or how much longer she'll be with us but we can say that she is our friendly feline, big sister, silly Lemons.


sinika said...

That first picture of Lemons is sooo cute! And I love that she'll go by Gabby. They'll be best friends one day... :)

Meg and Reed said...

Christie!! This story made me crack up. It definitely added a highlight to my long work day. I'm proud of you for keeping little Lemons.

Rachael said...

So funny! What a lucky cat to get you guys as new owners!