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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

No Soliciting

The first thing I'm going to do when I move into my new house is install one of these pretty little babies...


...ok maybe not that extreme but, whether I paint it on my front door, hammer signs in my front yard, you name it, it must be done. I'm tired of being taken advantage of because I can't say no! Allow me to explain.
Two weeks ago I get a knock on my front door. As I went to open the door I knew I shouldn't have done it. Much to my surprise there was a particular person standing on my porch who started babbling off words in which I could not understand no matter how hard I tried, due to her southern ebonics or whatever you'd call it. She then began telling me that she could clean the wax from last years pumpkin fest, off my front porch with just a touch of her magic cleaning, non toxic, all natural, smells good, won't bleach, smear, whatever you name it formula. Just then she decided to prove to me just how out of this world this green potion is and then took a sip of it. What??? Well if that wasn't enough, she worked her way into my house by scrubbing the grout in my entryway. I guess because of the look on my face she could tell I still wasn't amused and decided to stick her hand in my toilet to scrub the hard water ring that has formed inside the bowl. Oh, did I mention that she then found a stain on my carpet and took it out too? By then she had worked her way into my kitchen and scrubbed my stove, sink, fridge, and toaster. Would you then feel bad for not buying the stuff? Ya, not only that but my conscience then started to kick in and I felt that if I were to deny her green magic potion then she would hold it against us Mormons! I finally gave in and bought the crap.
Two days later I'm home making dinner and I get ANOTHER knock at the door. This time it's some little high schooler who is selling cookie dough. But you'd be proud. I lied and said I had just bought some yesterday! Clever I know. I then shut the door being proud of my white lie but then guilty inside thinking that maybe he had some strange disease and I just shot down his one opportunity at life. Poor guy.
Then today I get, yes you guessed it, another knock on my door. This time it's someone trying to get donations for an anonymous source (I won't say). They then hand me a form and ask me if I'd like to donate one of the amounts listed. As I skimmed the list the minimum amount you could donate was...hold your horses....$2oo. Are ya kidding me? Bless these men that came to my house. I know it wasn't them asking for that much but I couldn't say no and wrote a check for don't worry...$10.
Now that I've vented I feel bad. I don't not want to help those in need but it's really getting out of hand. My husband has now labeled me the sucker that can't say no (haha). That's why I now feel as if I have officially joined the no soliciting club. Anyone want to join?

6 comments:

swalberg family said...

I hate those guys. Lots of my neighbors use the excuse, "I don't buy things door to door," but it doesn't always work. I just say, "Oh! I just got some last time you guys were around!" But I think for a while, everyone buys things like that..... until they've had enough! {you} :)

jonna said...

that is what your 10% is for...don't feel bad. I just don't answer the door, unless i am expecting someone.

Loftus' said...

hahaha! Too funny! Do you live in an HOA? I know for a while when we first moved in our home, everyone and their dog came to the door because it was a new neighborhood with new couples who were not so knowledgeable about stuff and roped them into buying 100's to 1,000's of dollars of crap - yes crap! Now the HOA put their foot down and solicitors have to ask for permission to come in and sell and if they are reported doing otherwise - they are fined and get a slap on the hand. But let me tell you, it has been nice and quiet since they made that rule. Good luck and learn how to say NO - it's the evil dude telling you lies in your head - be strong!! :)

The Andersens said...

oh girl i love your guts!!! you crack me up! i miss you!!

Gabe & Melissa said...

I was cracking up when the lady came to my door and tryed to persuade me to buy it by telling me your nieghbor Christie Lamb bought one so you should too... I had no problem telling her no! You are so funny. I am all for the no soliciting sign!!

Ashley and Brett said...

You kill me! I have these guys over all the time... I'm getting better at shoving them out the door. Brett says my problem is I string these poor saps along (just cause I'm nice and want to at least try to listen) but in the end... I always say no! I need a sign too... good christmas gift idea! Sounds like for all!

I remember in college I came home and poor amber was sitting there with her checkbook opened and just payed a ton of money for a bunch of fitness magazines (when she got them for free at the gym she worked at) When I asked her what happened she said, I don't know, he said "that will be this much...." She didn't know what to do so she handed over her money! I love you girls! Let me know when your moving out this way! Miss ya!