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Friday, October 17, 2008

My Husband...the Unsurprisable

This week was Scottie's birthday! After he took me to wonderful Las Vegas for my birthday, I wanted to do something great for his in return. At first I thought it would be a great idea to throw him a surprise party. After much thought I couldn't remember if I had already asked my mom for her help. So, I text her and said "Hey mom, did I ask you already if you could help me throw Scottie a surprise?" minutes later I receive a text from Scott saying "no you didn't ask me lol" I was outraged! I cannot tell you how many times I accidentally text him when I mean to text someone else. So I thought I could cover it up by saying that I was going to throw him a little surprise dinner if he got an internship. Of course he said "Whatever! I know you were going to throw my a surprise party!" So that's what I said "Fine! I was going to throw you one but now that you know about it, I'm not!" He replied back saying "Now you're trying to make me think that you're not going to throw me one so that you can throw me one!" Of course...I gave up. Now that I had blew my surprise, I had to do something else. But first let me give you a little background on my honey. My husband HATES surprises. Well not that he doesn't like to be surprised but the second he knows that there is a surprise, he wants to know what it is and will do anything to find out! For example each year growing up, he would open his presents before Christmas, play with them, and tape them back up...empty. His mother and I share the same frustration. Not only is he a little rascal and opens his gifts in advance, but he will do anything to find out what I got him.
Then there's me. My mother always knew when I was lying about something because I always get defensive and mad when she'd ask me something. For example, when I was in college I dated a guy that she did not like. After a while, we broke up but still continued to hang out. Since I knew my mom didn't like him, I avoided any conversation about him. So whenever she'd ask me if I was still hanging out with him, I would get mad and defensive and instantly ...she knew I was lying. This quality has made my teenage years very complicated.
Now that I'm married, my husband has figured this out as well. Now he'll check online to see what store his present came from and then he'll ask me if I got him this or that and wait for me to get defensive and mad and instantly he knows what it is. Well, now that we've been married for a year, I've gotten smart. You see my husband being the accounting major, checks our bank account and credit cards statements on a daily basis. The second he sees Banana Republic...it's all over. So this year, I got smart and went shopping with my mom! The second I laid eyes on this suit, I knew I had to have it (I mean he had to have it). So when we reached the counter to pay for the suit, my mom pulled out her credit card, and I wrote her a check. Finally I was covered and his suit was resting in my mom's closet so there was no way he would find it.
Well upon returning home from shopping I was interrogated with questioning. He instantly asked me if I had gotten him a suit. I calmly explained, without getting mad and defensive, that I would have loved to get him a suit but it was too expensive. Then he continued on and on about every possible thing I could have gotten him. A wallet, dress pants, shirts, shoes, etc. And yes...I had a difficult time! I cannot deceive him! As time went on, I continued to be interrogated each day until the weekend before his birthday. Since Scottie was going to be "So busy" on his birthday, we decided that we'd celebrate it on Saturday instead (I think it was because he couldn't wait till Tuesday?) After we went out to eat with the fam, he continued to pester me to give him his birthday present then instead of on his birthday. After a while I gave in because he wasn't going to give up and I was a little excited as well. So we all gathered in to watch him open his gift. I strategically placed the shirt and pants on top of the jacket so that it would look like a I got him a shirt and dress pants (because that's what he thought I got him). Well wasn't he surprised when he saw that suit jacket at the bottom! I was so happy that I finally pulled it off after all the pestering. Until he tried it on and it was way too short. I was so sad! All that and no reward? Since we were determined we looked online and found it in a tall and had it express shipped so it would be here on his birthday.
When Tuesday finally arrived, I was driving home from school to find a big box waiting on our front porch. That when I got an evil idea in my head. After all my hard work trying to keep his present a secret, I was going to give him a little taste of his own medicine. I quickly rushed inside and hide the present upstairs in the guest bedroom closet and got started on his favorite meal. When he called me on his way home, the first words out of his mouth were "Did my suit come!?" I quickly informed him that it didn't and expressed my frustration because we paid to have it expressed shipped. He then continued to ask me if I had asked the neighbors and checked the mailbox. I again told him that I did and was sorry that it didn't come. Well, as soon as he got home, he asked the neighbors, checked the back door, and then checked online. He was very mad when the online statement said that it had been delivered and left on the front door. Then he got nervous that the yard workers had stolen his suit! He was outraged! And I was laughing my head off. He kept telling me to give him his suit and each time I calmly would tell him that I didn't have it. Well I finally had to draw the line when he decided that he was going to go ask the other neighbors because maybe our next door neighbors weren't home either when they came. When that didn't work he was about to pick up the phone and chew out Banana Republic. I quickly ran upstairs and brought down the box. He was so excited and mad at the same time he didn't know what to do because he was so surprised that I had actually pulled off a good lie! I was so excited when he put on the suit and so pleased that it fit him so well. So happy birthday babe!! I love you so much! Oh ya...good luck this Christmas. Let the games begin.

Scottie opening his gift



Scottie thinking that he got a shirt, belt and dress pants



Scottie realizing that I got him a suit

Scottie still excited about his suit...and me being depressed that it's too short



Scottie's Favorite. Chocolate and coconut pecan frosting



The Birthday Boy


Scottie relieved that his suit really did come



My oh my that's a nice suit! Thanks mom and dad :-)

10 comments:

Bryan and Christy Clark said...

Christie, I loved this post! I was laughing so hard because it sounds SO much like us trying to buy each other presents! We totally go get cash out so it doesn't show up on the statement! And this part describes me to a T! "My husband HATES surprises. Well not that he doesn't like to be surprised but the second he knows that there is a surprise, he wants to know what it is and will do anything to find out!" And Bryan is so good at hiding and never gives in so it makes me CRAZY waiting for presents. And I can't wait to give him his presents so he usually gets them like 2 weeks early. Oh and that is one NICE looking suit. I LOVE Banana Republic!!

k.m.b. said...

you are so funny! I'm loving the suit. Nice work picking that beauty out!!

Ashley and Brett said...

What a funny post! You have your hands full! If you need some christmas help, in hiding or shopping, let me know! I love being sneaky! Glad you pulled it all off! Thats a lot of work!

Mom Swalz said...

What a job that was! Good luck with Christmas! Sorry I won't be here to help! I can change the combo on the garage??? oh I have some ideas- I have had to deal with this for 30 years! Let the games begin!!! No tape pickin in this family!

Brooke Bennett said...

Hey, I used to hang out with your husband Scott back in the day down at Dixie. It's fun to see who he married! My blog is private, but if you and your hubby would like an invite, send an e-mail to bw0623 at hotmail dot com

The Peterson's said...

You two are so funny. I just love hearing all about life through your eyes!

Brittany said...

Nice suit Scottie!!! I loved this story about his birthday. Are you guys coming down south anytime soon? We miss you down here! Hope to see you soon.

Lisa Riddle said...

Swalz, it is your long lost friend Lisa Riddle. I found your blog on Carrie's blog. You are very tricky. I looked at the post before and your wedding dress was so dang pretty. You looked gorgeous! You should e-mail me lisa.ridd@gmail.com so I have your e-mail and I will send you an invite to look at my blog. It is locked. Anyway love ya!

JeNNy said...

Hey Scott and Christie,
I am So glad YOu found my blog! I saw james and brittney's blog too! Fun To see what everyones up to. Do you Guys ever talk to JR? I always wonder what ever happened to him. Keep in touch and I will add you to my blog.

Kourtney Paige said...

Hey Scott!
Good to here from you! Your wife is so pretty and so cute! It was crazy to here from you, total blast from the past! Keep in touch, I'll add you guys to my blog!