The Connection Game by Scott Lamb

If you have ever spent time with Christie in new circumstances you may have noticed her playing what I like to call “The Connection Game.” It drives her absolutely crazy if she cannot find common ground with her new acquaintances. A typical conversation would start something like this:


Christie: Oh so where did you go to school?

Christie: You went to SUU. So did I. (Let me preface that you will instantly become Christie’s best friend if you attended SUU)

Christie: So where did you live? Oh really I didn’t know anyone living there. So who were your roommates?

Christie: Interesting I didn’t know them either. Who did you date?

Christie: Really I don’t know any of those guys either. So what classes did you take? Maybe I saw you on campus.

Christie: Oh I never went to that part of campus. Maybe I saw you while eating lunch. Where did you eat on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?

Christie: Yeah I don’t really like Chinese food so I never go to Panda Express. Do you like chicken salad? Maybe I saw you at Rumbi’s. Do you go to Rumbi’s?

The questions will continue until Christie finally makes a connection. The connection doesn’t have to be strong. Maybe you were a friend of a friend of a friend who was friends with one of Christie’s friends? Maybe you served her fries at Wendys? Or maybe you share a friend on Facebook. The important thing to note is that the sooner Christie finds a connection the sooner you will be able to steer the conversation in a new direction.

If Christie hasn’t met you yet (maybe she saw you in church for the first time) she starts playing the connection game with me.

Christie: Babe. See that girl on the third row next to the guy with the bushy eyebrows and the woman singing slightly off key. I think I know her? I wonder if she went to SUU.

Scott: Babe you think everyone went to SUU.

Christie: No I don't.  I take that back.  I think I may have played basketball against her. I wonder if she went to American Fork High school.

Scott: Babe you think you know everyone.

Christie: She doesn’t look tall enough for basketball. This is going to bug me. I have to figure out how I know her before we meet so its not awkward. Was she in our old ward?

Scott: Babe I don’t think you know her.

Christie: Oh…I know how I know her. She looks like my hair stylists sister-in-law. Babe…I told you I knew her.

Scott: You’re right babe. Apparently if she resembles someone you know, then you know her.

Of course I take every advantage to tease her and to point out the flaws in her connection game. Christie took the game to a whole new level when she desired a physical/visual connection when we found out we were expecting.

When Christie and I found out we were having a girl she was beyond ecstatic. She couldn’t wait to be a mother. As mothers often do she started to imagine who our little girl would be and what she would look like. Soon she started soliciting my thoughts and would ask me every night what I thought our little girl would look like. Our conversations would go something like this as we sat in bed while Christie envisioned our little girl and I watched TV.

Christie: Do you think she will have blond hair?

Scott: Sure

Christie: Do you think she will have blue eyes?

Scott: yep

Christie: Do you think she will be friendly?

Scott: Chicken.

Christie: Babe were you listening?

Scott: Of course I was. I meant ….um….yes.

After answering these questions week after week I realized Christie was describing her own attributes. I didn’t mind humoring my wife considering I find her beautiful inside and out. In fact, I started to believe she would look like her myself. Apparently my reassurance wasn’t enough. Christie wanted visual confirmation. About a day after having an ultrasound my wife presented me with the following two pictures and said with a straight face said “Don’t you think she looks just like me?”

Viewing the photographs side by side I was overcome with laughter. Not taking Christie’s feelings into consideration (or at least that is what I was later told)I blurted out “She looks more like Casper the friendly ghost than she looks like you in that picture.” Like a Sunbeam realizing the answer to every question isn’t “Jesus” I could see the disappointment engulf Christie’s face. Although she didn’t think it was funny at the time, looking back, we both chuckle when we remember this moment.

On January 11, 2011 our beautiful baby girl Gabby Lamb was born. We all were very excited for her arrival. As friends and family came to visit and take a peek at our new bundle of joy, my wife and I kept hearing the same reoccurring comment “She looks just like Scott.” Our friends and family might as well have put a dagger straight into Christie’s heart. Weeks went by and Christie continued to desperately search for a physical connection. Christie started looking for other similarities that may not be as obvious to the untrained eye. She set the record straight with a blog post titled “Bits and Pieces.” Apparently, unbeknownst to the rest of the world, Gabby and my wife share similar fingers and big toes. This was enough to appease Christie’s need to find a connection.

We have been married for four years and my wife still plays this game. Although my post light-heartedly pokes fun and maybe even embellishes Christie’s need for a connection, its one of the many reasons I love her to pieces. You see, Christie inherited a compassionate heart for anything that walks the earth from her father Steve. The reason Christie wants to make a connection is because she cares about you and wants to make you one of her friends. So if you ever meet my wife for the first time let me give you some advice. Tell her you went to SUU and that her baby is the spitting image of her mother. She will never question these comments and you will have a friend for life.

mama & me

It's so strange to me that last year on Mother's Day I discovered that I was going to be a mama.  It was really a fabulous unexpected surprise since that very day we decided that it was time to start a family when little did we know, it was already in the works.  I can't imagine going back to life without Gabby.  She really brings so much joy to my life!  Right this minute she is sleeping and I really want to wake her up so that I can snuggle her and give her lots of hugs and squeezes.   And at this very moment I think about all the things I have to learn.  Boy it's a good thing my mama is just a phone call away and I can ask her for her motherly advice. 

I am so grateful for my mama.  I sure wish I would have taken notes along the way as to how she handled every situation that came her way.  Like back in the day when I was in the 11th grade, I walked into health just in time for the teacher to announce that we were "going to be pinching each others fat and finding out our body fat percentages".  Sweet.  I couldn't wait to get out of there!  What a great day to ruin any high school students self esteem.  So right after the teacher took the roll I darted out the door.  Clever me, she would never know I was missing.  There was no way I was going to be pinching my fat or anyone else's for that matter. 

Therefore, I met up with my friends and together we ditched 3rd hour.  We kicked back at my friend Lanae's house since her parents were out of town.  Life couldn't get any better.  I had fooled my Health teacher.  That is until I got home and my mom said 

"So how was school today?"  

"Good", I told her.  How could she possibly know?  

"So what did you do in health today?"  

HUH??!!! How did she know??? NO? She couldn't have?   I quickly dodged the bullet.  "Ah, you know not much."

"Really??So what did you do instead of going to Health?"

Apparently I had forgotten about the school wide absence calls that went out if your child was missing one or more classes that day. 

I fessed up.  It was the only day in my WHOLE entire life that I had been grounded.  My parents never did ground us.  They just didn't believe in it or something.  I don't know why exactly but I could have cared less about the grounding issue.  The worst punishment BY FAR was knowing that I had let my mom down.   I had never felt so bad.  I knew that she expected more out of me and I had let her down.  And from then on I never wanted to disappoint her again.   It was not the only time that I knew my mom loved me and wanted the best for me.  She had always made that a well known fact in my life, and still does to this day.  

Another time back in my college days, I had started dating this guy that was definitely not marriage material.  I don't know how she did it but she never told me what to do or that I should have dated someone more appropriate.  She just listened to me and somehow guided me to make the right decision to loose the guy.  I guess she knew that it had to be my decision, not hers.  

Or how about her clever tactics to get us to give her a back massage?  Oh how sly she was!  There she was sitting at the computer and I just loved to play with her hair.  Before you knew it, the rest of the kids had somehow all gathered around her and she would say "Ah, my shoulders hurt."  So I would start to rub her shoulders and before you know it she was going off about how I gave the greatest back rubs in the the world!  That no one could give them as good as I.  Well that's when my sister would step in and try to out do me.  And well,  I couldn't be defeated so I wanted another turn and then she would want to do better than me and before long my mom had a full out hour and 1/2 back massage.  Clever mom.  

So hopefully I did learn a thing or two while I lived at home.  I sure hope I can raise Gabby and the rest of the little lambs like she raised me.    Love you Mom!

 

mom and me on the first day of pre-school 

mom and me at Disneyland

Grammy and Gabby Girl 

And who can forget this moment???

I love being a mom