The Connection Game by Scott Lamb

If you have ever spent time with Christie in new circumstances you may have noticed her playing what I like to call “The Connection Game.” It drives her absolutely crazy if she cannot find common ground with her new acquaintances. A typical conversation would start something like this:


Christie: Oh so where did you go to school?

Christie: You went to SUU. So did I. (Let me preface that you will instantly become Christie’s best friend if you attended SUU)

Christie: So where did you live? Oh really I didn’t know anyone living there. So who were your roommates?

Christie: Interesting I didn’t know them either. Who did you date?

Christie: Really I don’t know any of those guys either. So what classes did you take? Maybe I saw you on campus.

Christie: Oh I never went to that part of campus. Maybe I saw you while eating lunch. Where did you eat on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?

Christie: Yeah I don’t really like Chinese food so I never go to Panda Express. Do you like chicken salad? Maybe I saw you at Rumbi’s. Do you go to Rumbi’s?

The questions will continue until Christie finally makes a connection. The connection doesn’t have to be strong. Maybe you were a friend of a friend of a friend who was friends with one of Christie’s friends? Maybe you served her fries at Wendys? Or maybe you share a friend on Facebook. The important thing to note is that the sooner Christie finds a connection the sooner you will be able to steer the conversation in a new direction.

If Christie hasn’t met you yet (maybe she saw you in church for the first time) she starts playing the connection game with me.

Christie: Babe. See that girl on the third row next to the guy with the bushy eyebrows and the woman singing slightly off key. I think I know her? I wonder if she went to SUU.

Scott: Babe you think everyone went to SUU.

Christie: No I don't.  I take that back.  I think I may have played basketball against her. I wonder if she went to American Fork High school.

Scott: Babe you think you know everyone.

Christie: She doesn’t look tall enough for basketball. This is going to bug me. I have to figure out how I know her before we meet so its not awkward. Was she in our old ward?

Scott: Babe I don’t think you know her.

Christie: Oh…I know how I know her. She looks like my hair stylists sister-in-law. Babe…I told you I knew her.

Scott: You’re right babe. Apparently if she resembles someone you know, then you know her.

Of course I take every advantage to tease her and to point out the flaws in her connection game. Christie took the game to a whole new level when she desired a physical/visual connection when we found out we were expecting.

When Christie and I found out we were having a girl she was beyond ecstatic. She couldn’t wait to be a mother. As mothers often do she started to imagine who our little girl would be and what she would look like. Soon she started soliciting my thoughts and would ask me every night what I thought our little girl would look like. Our conversations would go something like this as we sat in bed while Christie envisioned our little girl and I watched TV.

Christie: Do you think she will have blond hair?

Scott: Sure

Christie: Do you think she will have blue eyes?

Scott: yep

Christie: Do you think she will be friendly?

Scott: Chicken.

Christie: Babe were you listening?

Scott: Of course I was. I meant ….um….yes.

After answering these questions week after week I realized Christie was describing her own attributes. I didn’t mind humoring my wife considering I find her beautiful inside and out. In fact, I started to believe she would look like her myself. Apparently my reassurance wasn’t enough. Christie wanted visual confirmation. About a day after having an ultrasound my wife presented me with the following two pictures and said with a straight face said “Don’t you think she looks just like me?”

Viewing the photographs side by side I was overcome with laughter. Not taking Christie’s feelings into consideration (or at least that is what I was later told)I blurted out “She looks more like Casper the friendly ghost than she looks like you in that picture.” Like a Sunbeam realizing the answer to every question isn’t “Jesus” I could see the disappointment engulf Christie’s face. Although she didn’t think it was funny at the time, looking back, we both chuckle when we remember this moment.

On January 11, 2011 our beautiful baby girl Gabby Lamb was born. We all were very excited for her arrival. As friends and family came to visit and take a peek at our new bundle of joy, my wife and I kept hearing the same reoccurring comment “She looks just like Scott.” Our friends and family might as well have put a dagger straight into Christie’s heart. Weeks went by and Christie continued to desperately search for a physical connection. Christie started looking for other similarities that may not be as obvious to the untrained eye. She set the record straight with a blog post titled “Bits and Pieces.” Apparently, unbeknownst to the rest of the world, Gabby and my wife share similar fingers and big toes. This was enough to appease Christie’s need to find a connection.

We have been married for four years and my wife still plays this game. Although my post light-heartedly pokes fun and maybe even embellishes Christie’s need for a connection, its one of the many reasons I love her to pieces. You see, Christie inherited a compassionate heart for anything that walks the earth from her father Steve. The reason Christie wants to make a connection is because she cares about you and wants to make you one of her friends. So if you ever meet my wife for the first time let me give you some advice. Tell her you went to SUU and that her baby is the spitting image of her mother. She will never question these comments and you will have a friend for life.