Everybody Loves Christie (By Scott Lamb)

This post is by Scott not Christie. Yes….I know it may be strange for a man to be posting on the family blog but I decided I would do it anyways. Let me explain the motivation for my willingness to post even if it means risking a piece of my manhood. I view the blog as a way for our children to get to know Christie and me before we become old, wrinkly, and incoherent. After reading through the posts of Christie sharing with the world all my good qualities (and I thank her for her crafty editing), I thought it would be a tragedy for me to not share how I and the world feel about Christie. To sum it up in a sentence I would say without a doubt that….Everybody Loves Christie.


Let me start off with some antidotal evidence I have witnessed firsthand. In January our new addition Gabby J arrived. We were fortunate enough to have Gabby’s newborn pictures taken a week after she was born. As any proud parents would do, we plastered our little girl’s face all over the internet via Facebook. As I got ten maybe fifteen comments on Facebook I was feeling good that I thought I had many friends congratulating us on our new addition. As I shared some of the comments left on my Facebook page my wife was eager to share the comments left on her page. As I opened up her profile I was astonished to see over 50 people had commented and that wasn’t including all the likes and pokes. I thought to myself…..”Is this a regular occurrence or are the comments so high just because we had a baby”. It seems, and I may be exaggerating a little, that Christie can post any mundane experience like “it’s snowing, I ate an apple, I found a quarter” and at a minimum she will have 5 comments and 5 likes. I told her I wanted to start posting on her account so I too could enjoy the instant gratification of receiving multiple Facebook posts instantaneously…..later she changed her password.

This post is not just based on Facebook. Have you ever tried to go to Wal-Mart with Christie in Saratoga Springs? It is like a pizza walking into fat camp. People cannot get enough of her. We are stopped in every isle; pictures are taken with past first graders, and let’s not forget about the strangers who stop her to ask “Who does your hair?” In fact, it’s gotten so out of hand we have to make packs in the car before we ever step into Wal-Mart that she is only allowed to talk to anyone she knows for 1 minute or less. So far she has failed miserably keeping the pack.

Not only is Christie great with people….but did you know she is the animal whisperer as well? We have a cat named Lemon. If you are friends with us you probably have heard the story of our poor unfortunate cat. In fact, I think Christie did a blog about the poor animal. Every night, just before we go to bed, Lemon the cat jumps on the bed for her nightly rub down. She slowly nestles in between me and my wife with her face pointing towards Christie and her butt pointing straight towards me. I have tried petting, cat food, turning her around by force but despite my best efforts the cat always returns to the same position (well maybe a little further from me but facing the same way) giving me the shaft. It’s an insult since I am the one who cleans her litter box (is it true that pregnant and/or nursing women can’t change the litter box or is Christie taking advantage of the situation?) feeds her, and lets her out. However, Lemon’s infatuation with Christie has its advantages. I do not wake up throughout the night by Lemon’s belly dragging back and forth across my head; I do not wake up with Lemon licking my hands; and I certainly do not wake up with Lemon lying on my chest. I keep telling Christie it is a small price to pay for your popularity with the cat.

So why is every living creature enamored with my wife? It’s probably because has a heart of gold…..let me explain. Christie is the type of person who says she is sorry after beating you in scrabble. She is the type of person that will chase you down in Wal-Mart to say hello and ask you how you are doing. She is the type of person who cries during animal planet. She is the type of person who leaves you notes on the door wishing you good luck. She is the type of person who makes anyone she meets feel like they are the most important person in the world at that moment. I know she has won me over….I am just tired of sharing her with everyone else. So watch out Ray Ramono……….because I believe you have been replaced. In my eyes…..Everybody Loves Christie.