this thing called love

in celebration of valentine's day it got me thinking about my lover and about the first time we said the "L" word and it brought back some good memories.

When Scott and I met, he was on leave from Iraq and I was living in Cedar City at the time doing my student teaching.  I was crazy about him but he returned to Iraq with only two more months so I figured I could wait it out.

After he returned home I was dead set on things going somewhere but in his mind he was just getting back and finally returning to his normal life so it was no wonder he wanted to scope things out instead of getting serious with a girl like me.

Then I moved back up north and started teaching and then the roles switched and I was wanting to scope out the new guys in the area while Scottie wanted to get serious.

I don't know how he managed to stand my indecisiveness but I am SO glad he did.  It was one night when I think he had finally had it with me and my wishy washiness about getting serious and really wanted to tell me how he felt to let me know that he was serious about this whole dating thing.  That's when he busted out the "L' word and I didn't know what to say except "I know".

and so we ended dating other people.  

ya...i'm pretty much the worlds worst girlfriend.

Later on I got a little jealous that there were other women (one in particular) after my man.  I still felt that he was mine even though we weren't together.  I then realized that Scott really was a great catch and I should give up the whole game and give things a go again.

After about a month of being back together we were snuggling late one night and I admitted to myself that I really did love this great guy.  He made me happy and I felt content every time we were together.

From what I remember we were snuggling, half asleep and out of it but I wanted to tell him.  So I whispered it so quiet I wasn't sure I heard it myself.  I was shocked that I actually said it and a little freaked out at the same time that those three little words had really just escaped my lips!!! There was no going back now and there was no need to take it back.  I meant what I said but for some reason I didn't want him to know.  I think Scott was shocked too so he turned his head and said "What did you say?"  he must have needed the reassurance since he too was shocked as could be. 

"Huh? What did I say?  I didn't say anything?" he kept asking me what I had said and I think he knew but really wanted to know for sure.  So he kept asking me "No really, What did you say?"  and I kept telling him that I didn't say anything and that he must have been dreaming.  This went on for a few days and each time I told him I didn't say anything!  And then there was never any more talk about that little conversation and eventually it became something that we said on a frequent basis.

It wasn't until we were officially husband and wife and were sitting at our wedding luncheon watching our wedding video when the truth finally came out.

In our wedding video the videographer interviewed each of us separately and I then and there told the story about the first time I told Scottie that I loved him.   So as we were sitting at the head table in front of our wedding party he had finally heard the truth about what I said that night.  He was pretty shocked to know that that night I really did say those three little words and glad that he wasn't dreaming it all up. 

And I am very glad I did say that little word because....

I really do LOVE you babe.