No Soliciting

The first thing I'm going to do when I move into my new house is install one of these pretty little babies...

...ok maybe not that extreme but, whether I paint it on my front door, hammer signs in my front yard, you name it, it must be done. I'm tired of being taken advantage of because I can't say no! Allow me to explain.

Two weeks ago I get a knock on my front door. As I went to open the door I knew I shouldn't have done it. Much to my surprise there was a particular person standing on my porch who started babbling off words in which I could not understand no matter how hard I tried, due to her southern ebonics or whatever you'd call it. She then began telling me that she could clean the wax from last years pumpkin fest, off my front porch with just a touch of her magic cleaning, non toxic, all natural, smells good, won't bleach, smear, whatever you name it formula. Just then she decided to prove to me just how out of this world this green potion is and then took a sip of it. What??? Well if that wasn't enough, she worked her way into my house by scrubbing the grout in my entryway. I guess because of the look on my face she could tell I still wasn't amused and decided to stick her hand in my toilet to scrub the hard water ring that has formed inside the bowl. Oh, did I mention that she then found a stain on my carpet and took it out too? By then she had worked her way into my kitchen and scrubbed my stove, sink, fridge, and toaster. Would you then feel bad for not buying the stuff? Ya, not only that but my conscience then started to kick in and I felt that if I were to deny her green magic potion then she would hold it against us Mormons! I finally gave in and bought the crap.

Two days later I'm home making dinner and I get ANOTHER knock at the door. This time it's some little high schooler who is selling cookie dough. But you'd be proud. I lied and said I had just bought some yesterday! Clever I know. I then shut the door being proud of my white lie but then guilty inside thinking that maybe he had some strange disease and I just shot down his one opportunity at life. Poor guy.

Then today I get, yes you guessed it, another knock on my door. This time it's someone trying to get donations for an anonymous source (I won't say). They then hand me a form and ask me if I'd like to donate one of the amounts listed. As I skimmed the list the minimum amount you could donate was...hold your horses....$2oo. Are ya kidding me? Bless these men that came to my house. I know it wasn't them asking for that much but I couldn't say no and wrote a check for don't worry...$10.

Now that I've vented I feel bad. I don't not want to help those in need but it's really getting out of hand. My husband has now labeled me the sucker that can't say no (haha). That's why I now feel as if I have officially joined the no soliciting club. Anyone want to join?